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Fashion industry goes crazy for new diet book ‘Homeless People Don’t Get Fat’
Following in the wake of diet books such as Japanese Women Don’t Get Fat, publishers have been delighted by the success of the latest addition to the genre which reveals the eating secrets of Britain’s...
View ArticleCadbury denies lower fat Dairy Milk bar ‘actually just smaller’
Cadbury’s launched a new Dairy Milk chocolate bar containing 14% less fat than before. ‘It’s exactly the same taste,’ said a spokesman, ‘and still only 99p!’ He dismissed claims by critics that Cadbury...
View ArticleMotorway service stations to cater for reluctant dieters with ‘salad pie’
A revolutionary diet plan has been introduced for those people whose commitment to the cause of losing weight is slimmer than their waistline. Backed by the Chief Medical Officer, the diet provides...
View ArticleCelebrities endorse the Photoshop diet
The latest diet craze to be endorsed by hundreds of celebrities is the Photoshop diet, in which hi-tech software is used to make images of the celebrity look like they are up to 100 pounds lighter than...
View ArticleOverweight colleague to switch to skimmed milk
It was confirmed this morning that local office worker Sally Gibson is to move from semi-skimmed to skimmed milk in an effort to lose weight. Dismissing the suggestion that her daily breakfast...
View ArticleBreakthrough as scientists confirm ‘everything in excess’ is bad for you
It has long been known that ‘everything in moderation’ is a mantra for a healthy life, and scientists have now proved that, conversely, ‘everything in excess’ will seriously bugger you up. ‘It appears...
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‘Diet lard’ released to combat obesity epidemic
Lard companies have jumped on the socially responsible bandwagon by releasing ‘diet lard’, a new product for fat people who don’t really like salad but like lard. Diet lard is being produced in half...
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Man fights for life in Quality Street induced coma after festivities curtailed
A man is fighting for his life today after going ‘cold turkey’ following a Christmas eating binge. Dick Scales, 36, a much loved member of sleepy local seaside town Ringhersham remains in a ‘Stable,...
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